THE COMFORTABLE PAIN.
Why do we hold onto the things that hold us back?
Stuck in a cycle of familiar routines and quiet frustration? This guide reveals how to break free from the comfortable pain holding you back, with five actionable steps to reclaim control of your life.
By our forties, many of us have quietly accepted a certain kind of pain—a pain wrapped comfortably in familiarity. It hides within jobs that drain us, relationships we no longer nurture, and routines that stifle rather than sustain. We linger in this subtle discomfort because uncertainty feels dangerous, and the unknown carries risks we are afraid to face. It's easier, after all, to endure predictable unhappiness than to confront unpredictable change.
Yet, beneath this acceptance lies a deeper truth: comfort zones are deceptive. The walls you believe protect you are often the very barriers imprisoning you. This comfortable pain quietly strips you of ambition, dulls your instincts, and persuades you that mediocrity is an acceptable compromise for peace. The job you refuse to leave, the conversations you sidestep, the healthy habits that remain perpetually postponed—these aren't just casual oversights; they're symptoms of a deeper resistance.
But what if your greatest fear wasn't change, but the possibility of never changing? Imagine waking up ten years from now, in the exact place you desperately want to escape today. This scenario isn't merely unfortunate; it's devastating. The real risk isn't the discomfort of growth—it's the permanence of regret.
In twenty years, you’d give anything to be exactly where you are right now. The energy you still have. The options still open to you.
The problems that feel heavy today would, with hindsight, look like privileges—proof that you were alive, capable, and full of potential.
Your future self would trade everything just to stand where you’re standing now, with time still on your side and choices still in your hands. Jimmy Carr
So the real tragedy isn’t that change feels hard today. It’s that you’ll look back, knowing you could have moved—and didn’t. The risk isn’t failure. It’s regret.
Recognising this dynamic is your first victory. With insight comes the possibility of action. Real change happens not in leaps, but in purposeful, measured steps guided by clarity and honesty.
As your coach, my role is not to push you recklessly into uncertainty, but to illuminate the path forward and walk it alongside you.
Here are five ways you might be silently perpetuating your comfortable pain—and how you can begin dismantling it:
1. The Fear of Success
Self-sabotage isn’t dramatic. It’s subtle. It shows up in the small decisions you think don’t matter.
It’s not really failure you fear—it’s what happens if you actually succeed. Because success demands more of you. It strips away excuses. It forces you to confront the version of yourself you've been avoiding.
So, you delay. You indulge. You distract. Not because you’re weak—but because staying almost ready feels safer than being fully seen.
It’s a protection mechanism disguised as “taking it easy.”
I work with people to recognise these patterns for what they are—not bad habits, but deeply wired fears of stepping into responsibility, visibility, and sustained effort.
Tactic: For 24 hours, become hyper-aware of every moment where you negotiate with yourself. The “just this once”, the “I’ll start tomorrow”, the “I’ve earned this.” Write them down. Bring the subconscious into the light—because what you track, you can’t ignore.
If you dare, share one of those moments with me. Comment below SABOTAGE—awareness is where we start.
2. The Illusion of "No Time"
Time is the easiest excuse because no one questions it. We all feel busy. But feeling isn’t fact.
The truth is sitting quietly in your phone settings. You don’t have a shortage of time—you have a surplus of distraction.
The modern world is designed to steal your focus and sell it back to you in regret.
I don’t tell clients to overhaul their schedules overnight. I show them where they’re bleeding hours they claim they don’t have—and how to reclaim them without needing to "find time."
Tactic: Open your phone. Check today’s screen time. That number is the mirror you’ve been avoiding. Take one hour—just one—and use it for something that compounds: movement, reflection, progress.
Comment TIME if you're ready to stop lying to yourself about being busy.
3. Try Walking Into Clarity
You’re not stuck. You’re static.
Movement isn’t just about burning calories—it’s about breaking patterns. Walking is the simplest way to remind your body and mind that life moves forward. But here’s where most people get it wrong—they either treat walking as a mindless chore, or they drown it in noise that adds to their stress.
A walk is an opportunity. To think. To breathe. Or—to be guided somewhere better by what you choose to hear.
I’m not saying silence is always the answer. Sometimes, the right piece of music can lower your shoulders and slow your heart rate better than any meditation app. There’s nothing quite like stepping into nature with the sound of a delicate simple piano playing in your ears—letting the weight you didn’t realise you were carrying dissolve with every note.
Or tuning into a podcast that stretches your thinking, rather than numbing it.
Walking isn’t escape. It’s alignment—if you choose your companions wisely, even if they’re playing through your headphones.
Tactic: Commit to a daily 30-minute walk. But be deliberate—ask yourself, "What do I need from this today?"
Clarity? Walk in silence.
Inspiration? Choose a podcast that feeds your curiosity.
Calm? Put on music that soothes, not stimulates. Start with Ryuichi Sakamoto —let the piano do its work.
“Don’t underestimate the power of the right sound at the right time. This playlist is designed to lower your shoulders, quiet the chaos, and turn a simple walk into a mental reset. Press play, start moving, and let it do its work.” Chris x
4. Your Silent Enemy
Your mind doesn’t sit still. When left idle, it doesn’t rest—it roams. And it rarely wanders anywhere useful.
An unguided mind gravitates towards fear, doubt, and noise. That’s neuroscience. But it’s also a choice—because you can direct it.
I coach people to build mental frameworks that catch them before they spiral. Not through discipline alone, but by replacing passive drift with active curiosity.
Tactic: When you feel yourself reaching for distraction, choose nourishment instead. Pick up a book that challenges you. Don’t just ‘stay busy’—stay intentional.
Comment FOCUS if you want a curated list to start feeding your mind properly.
5. Mornings of Stillness
Most people lose their day in the first five minutes. They wake up and immediately hand control to their phone, their inbox, the world.
Ownership isn’t taken—it’s given away before the coffee’s brewed.
But there’s power in beginning with nothing. No input. No noise. Just breath, sunlight, and the quiet reminder that you decide how today unfolds.
Maria Shriver put it perfectly on Rich Roll’s podcast last week—how, as a mother, she would hide in the bathroom early in the morning just to find a moment of calm before facing the chaos of the day. Not to escape her children, but to centre herself, so she could lead with positivity instead of reaction.
That’s the point—it’s not about luxury, it’s about necessity. Finding space, even in a crowded life.
I teach clients to anchor their mornings—not with overcomplicated routines, but with presence.
Tactic: Tomorrow, before anything else—step outside. Sit. Breathe. Feel the sun on your face. Five minutes is enough to remind your nervous system who’s in charge.
Comment MORNING if you want help designing a routine that actually serves you.
The Seven-Day Commitment
Try these shifts consciously for seven days—not as tasks, but as deliberate acts of reclaiming your life.
At the week's end, ask yourself honestly if you feel more in control, more present, more aligned.
If the answer is not a decisive yes, it may be time to reach out for guidance.
Because here’s the ultimate truth, one worth repeating clearly:
I can help you.
Big Love
Chris
